Eulogy to my Dad

I never thought 2-to-3 months ago that I would be writing a eulogy to my dad.  Where to start?  A colleague recently commented that a sign of a really good person is that you never hear them say anything bad about anyone else.  I agreed and said I am very blessed as I could say that about both my parents.  They are both extraordinary people and I appreciated them even more as I grew older.  As my husband says, I got the gold standard in parents.

My mom describes our family this way: she and Dad had 5 kids, raised 4 and now have 3.  But really, you have to add in the 21 foster kids they took in over the years and the fact Dad made a home for my Mom’s father.  We all lived in an 11-hundred square foot bungalow but it never felt crowded.  Despite all the kids, friends were always welcome.  We were well cared for and always knew that we were loved.  Foster or biological, we were all treated and loved equally, there was no difference.

Dad instilled a solid work ethic in all of us -- starting with our attendance in elementary school.  It was basically a case that you needed a sick note from the coroner if you wanted to miss school.  My brother Dan had almost perfect attendance – but missed time when he had his tonsils removed. 

Following in our dad’s footsteps, we all had paper routes.  We passed our routes down to the next child.  In the summertime, when Dad was on holidays, it was a real treat as he put down the tailgate on our Ford station wagon, gathered up all the neighbourhood kids and zipped us around so we could complete our routes in record time.  I also remember coming home one night as a teenager to find out that Dad had accepted a part-time job for me starting immediately.

Dad had a great sense of humour and was a bit of a prankster.  One time he let us kids in on his joke.  He set it up so that Mom and I went into the Met on our own with the plan calling for us to meet up with the boys later in the parking lot.  When we came out, Dad said “Mary, our car’s been stolen!”

Mom started freaking out and that’s when the rest of us started laughing...and Dad said “Don’t worry Mary, we will take this car instead.”  While Mom and I were shopping, Dad, Al, Brian and Dan had picked up a brand new Chrysler. 

Dad also took personal delight in wrapping my son Aidan’s birthday present each year.  He would spend hours wrapping boxes within boxes, saving up all his cereal boxes for weeks.  He got such a kick out of Aidan’s and everyone else’s reaction as we watched. 

My daughter Lauren fondly recalls while playing hide-and-seek at our house, neither she nor Aidan could find their grandpa.  They ran inside and asked their grandma if he had snuck inside.  No she had not seen him.  After half an hour of looking, they gave up and Grandpa startled the daylights out of them, jumping out of the back of Dan’s pick-up truck box.  Dad was so pleased he had outfoxed them.  He explained that he got tired of running around and thought he would take a rest.  The kids were so impressed that he had hid that well.

Being a depression era baby, Dad always taught us to be fiscally responsible.    This is why the next story raised a few eyebrows in our family.  With his first paycheque, my dad went and bought a Rolex watch on time.  This extravagance was very unusual behaviour.  He had that watch for over 25 years and when it stopped working, he threw it out.  Incredible to think he threw away some money there.  He was a very frugal man.  With all the kids we had, we did not go out for dinner very often as he probably thought it would bankrupt him.  I remember the one time we went to the Red Barn fast food restaurant for dinner.  Dad had coupons for a free meal if it was your birthday.   He had all us kids interspersed throughout the line so that we would get a free meal by saying it was our birthday.  I can only imagine what the staff thought of all those birthday kids from the same family sitting together.

Dad was a news junkie and encouraged all of us to stay informed.  When my parents went to Florida for 6 months, he would have us either save or mail him copies of the Toronto Star.  He would read the newspaper from front to back.  It would take him days to get caught up on all the Canadian news.

As many of you know, my dad was passionate about playing cards.  You always knew he was at the card table as he was a very vocal participant.  He came by it honestly.  As a kid, I remember sleeping over at our grandparent’s house in Walkerton, and we would hear Tony, my dad’s father, rapping his knuckles on the table.  Our dad did the same thing. 

You had to sharp when playing any card game against my dad, as he counted cards, knew exactly what every person played and was not afraid to tell you if you messed up.  My daughter Lauren always latched onto him as a Euchre partner knowing it would better her chances.  I can distinctly remember his excitable voice, saying, “What are you doing leading trump!!!” at Lauren, then teaching her afterwards what she should have played so she could become a better player. 

Dad also imparted in all of us an appreciation for sports.  Growing up ABC’s Wide World of Sports with Howard Cosell was a staple in our household.  It didn’t matter what sport it was, Dad watched it all.  We witnessed some incredible sporting feats such as Secretariat winning by 31 lengths, Mohamed Ali’s many fights, Evel Knievel’s stunts, the Olympics, auto racing, hockey and golf.

But his true favourite was baseball.  In 1977, when Major League Baseball expanded into Toronto, that was it, the Toronto Blue Jays were now his team, as he had become frustrated with the Maple Leafs.  My parents would ride their bikes around town with transistor radios in their baskets so they can listen to the game.  The Blue Jays were on in the car or anywhere they happened to be where the game was on the Tube. 

Dad and Mom couldn’t believe their ears when Dan arranged for their 50th wedding anniversary greeting to be announced during a game.  It was the ultimate.

My parents were such loyal Jays fans they travelled to Yankee Stadium and Baltimore and were in Cleveland to watch Dave Stieb throw a no-hitter.  Recently when we had to go to the Emergency department at the hospital, I said to Dad that they must have known he was coming as the Jays game was just starting on the T-V.

Our oldest brother Al, was Dad’s kindred spirit in his love for sports.  It was often a contest between them to see who got the Sports section of the paper first.  Dad, I truly hope you and Al are enjoying watching a 24 hour sports channel together.

We loved you and we will greatly miss you.  I will miss you calling our house and asking, do you have the computer/tablet on, can you look this up for me?  I will miss you calling to remind us that it is post time for the Triple Crown races, or affectionately teasing Lauren that her beloved Giants have lost again.  Most importantly, we will just miss being with you.

You were an extraordinary father and we all appreciate the values that you gave us.  It was always a comfort to know that wherever we were, whatever we did, you were always there for us. Take care, dad, until we meet again.